Monday, December 31, 2012

It Is Not Fair!!! Part 2

I'm doing an update to my last post. I have stopped crying and calmed down and now feel like I should explain what happened instead of just complaining, and screaming IT IS NOT FAIR!!!

As I mentioned, my sister is currently in the hospital for contracting a blood infection from using a dirty needle to shoot up heroin. She is being discharged this Friday, January 4th. The plan for the past 2 weeks has been that after she was discharged from the hospital she would be admitted to a detox/rehab center about 45 minutes away from home- yes she agreed to this. However, we just found out that she doesn't qualify for the free program. Why? Because she is not suicidal! Since she doesn't have insurance, $3,000 is needed.

The new plan is for her to return home and attend counseling twice a week. Our uncle, from our dad's side of the family, has offered to pay for the sessions. He is a cardiologist, very intelligent, but him (and his wife) don't think my sister needs to attend a detox or rehab center, which Mom and I disagree with. I'm not a professional in this area. Everything I know I have learned from going through this experience with my sister, speaking with others who are or have gone through similar situations, and tons of research. Mom and I believe an inpatient program would be best for her and than counseling. I may be wrong, but I believe they are wrong.

The unfair part comes from her returning home. If you have never lived with an addict you would not understand. The chaos of their life becomes your life. I truly want her to get help, but that is her choice, and if she chooses not to seek help that doesn't mean I should have to live her life of chaos. When she was living at home- Several items of mine, including jewelry, money, and pain medication, was stolen. I eventually had to keep everything I owned in my bedroom with the door locked. Even when the door was locked she found a way to get inside. Mom and I both worked, but almost every night she would wake us up at 2:00, 3:00, 4:00, 5:00, 6:00am. My sister never saw the need to contribute, but she sure did eat all of our food, take showers, sleep all day be gone all night, and make messes through out the house. At times she would even become violent.. throwing a cell phone at Mom's face, spitting in mine, hitting, pushing, punching, and once threatening with a knife. Other times, her words hurt just as much. I don't want to live like this again, feeling like I'm always walking on eggshells. I just don't think it is fair. This is the life she has chosen let her live it, but it is not the life I chose, so why should I live like this?

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