Friday, December 28, 2012

Stability VS Instability

This morning Mom and I had the opportunity to look through my sister's car. Of course, we found some items most would be surprised finding in their loved ones belongings. We found a cutting board, lots of cards (like reward cards), a packet of pills, a few small plastic bags with white residue, and tons of clothes. Mom found a few things of hers and I found my gold necklace and a watch she must of stolen. I was angry at first, but than I started thinking..

My life is far from perfect. Mom and I are struggling like many families in this country today. Mom works full-time an hour away and right now I only work part-time. We have more bills going out than money coming in. However, I am so grateful that Mom allows me to live in her home. We both have beds to sleep in at night, clean clothes to wear each day, cars to drive, and jobs to be at.

I feel comforted that there is stability in my life. Yes, at times it may seem boring, the same humdrum day after day, but as i see it, it is better than the alternative... instability, chaos, drama.

For the past few years, my sister's life has been unstable.. and that is an understatement. She would probably say it was all Mom's fault, because she kicked her out, and Mom would buy into it. This is not true. Her life was unstable long before she was asked to leave.

When my sister did live at home her daily schedule was sleeping all day, only waking to shower and eat, than disappear all night. The rule was- be home by 10:00pm or the door would be locked. I guess my sister didn't think the rule applied to her, because she would constantly show up at 2-3-4-5-6:00am. Sometimes she would call and call Mom's phone. Other times she would bang and bang on the front door. One time she even knocked on Mom's bedroom window almost giving her a heart attack. My sister would do whatever was needed to be granted access inside the home. Her cell phone was consistently ringing. Her "friends" were always sitting outside. Neighbor's would complain about all the screaming and fighting between her and her boyfriend during the wee hours of the night, or morning. A few times when Mom would leave for work in the morning she would find my sister sleeping outside our front door or her and her boyfriend sleeping in one of their cars.

My sister ended up moving in with our father and his wife. This didn't last long. Obviously, my sister and her current lifestyle were not cut out for living with others. I don't know exactly what happened, but through their complaints it was the same as here.. she always came in late, slept all day, wasn't working or looking for a job, left her mess all over the house, was disrespectful, and ended in a huge argument between my sister, father, and her boyfriend in the drive way outside their home. She was than asked to pack her stuff (alone with out the boyfriend) and leave.

My sister bounced from friend's house to friend's house, because she was not welcomed in her boyfriend's parents' home.. surprise, surprise. Occasionally, she would spend the night here. Eventually, she started babysitting under the table, because she was receiving unemployment and she stayed in the family's home for a while. That did not last long either. She sent one of the children to school in his pajamas, didn't change the baby's diaper all day (lucky the mom came home early), the oldest daughter complained of her sleeping all day, always being outside smoking and talking on the phone, and using her stuff. The days my sister stayed with friends she would not show or be late. Her and the boyfriend even stayed in a hotel for a while until their money ran out- well that was her story.

My sister's boyfriend was actually caught stealing, charges were pressed, and he was sent to jail.. by his parents. Of course, he was drug tested and was sentenced a year in rehab. So, my sister was back on the streets alone. She again was bouncing from friend's house to friend's house, sometimes even sleeping in her car.

We last heard she was staying with a friend, who was also a user. They were living in the friend's mom's ex-husband's home- who was an addict in recovery.. this sounds like the perfect place, right?

Currently, my sister's residence is the hospital. She was admitted December 8th and is to be discharged January 4th. She contracted a blood infection caused by a dirty needle used to shoot up heroin.

How do addicts live like that? 

My boring, humdrum, stability looks so much better than instability.

No comments:

Post a Comment