This weekend was exhausting, physically and emotionally. It was definitely a roller coaster. There were some ups and downs- more downs than ups, but that was expected. Things are not going to change over night. This was the first time we've all been together for an entire weekend in a long time and with my sister clean an even longer time- actually this was probably the first weekend my sister has stayed clean in a while. The first weekend she has not been with her "friends", too (well besides being in the hospital).
There were a few things I thought were suspicious...
- My sister had tons of laundry, (a result of living out of her car) which Mom volunteered to wash/dry/fold all of it over the weekend. I noticed before giving Mom anything she would frantically go through all her pockets.
- One of my sister's friends text Mom's phone. She said she really needed to get a hold of her, because she had a fever, cold chills, aches, etc.. She was afraid she had the same blood infection. I don't think my sister put her up to this or had some plan, but it was suspicious that my she had to leave the house, out of our ears reach, to call her.
- My sister has said she was not going to have any contact with her friends, because most of them were still using/dealing. However, her last week in the hospital she had a friend at the hospital taking a shower. Over the weekend she was texting/calling a friend, and she made the comment that there were 2 specific friends that she was not going to give up their friendship, but she just needed a small break.
I don't know, maybe none of this meant anything. However, in the past suspicious behavior from my sister meant something was up. Why frantically go through all of your pockets if you aren't hiding anything? Why stand outside in the freezing cold and snow to talk on the phone if you aren't hiding anything? Why be friends with people who are continuing to use when you are trying to change?
Friday evening our dad came over to talk. He did most of the talking, Mom and I kept quiet and listened, and my sister occasionally smarted off when she heard something she didn't like. He discussed detox, rehab, and her plans. She just gave him the same answer she gives us, regarding detox and rehab, that she is not going and is doing this her way. She is going to live with our uncle and aunt from Mom's side. Her car doesn't run, she doesn't have insurance, and her license is expired. She doesn't have a job and her phone is prepaid only meaning she texts whenever she finds $5. So, she really doesn't have a plan in place. She is starting therapy this week, another uncle offered to pay for. It is only 1 day a week, I'm not sure that is going to be enough. Mom, Dad, and I still don't think her moving in with our uncle and aunt is a good idea or convinced this will change anything, but only time will tell.
Sunday evening we took my sister over to our uncle and aunts. They typed up a "contract", rules for her to follow, and all of them signed it. They are going to help her with getting her car fixed, finding a job, making sure she gets to her therapy sessions, job interviews, etc.. They were very clear that if she screws this chance up, she will be asked to leave, and there will not be a second chance. This is her second chance, but really it is her third and forth.
I am so glad that the weekend is over. Only time will tell what the future brings. I really do want this to work for her, but I am not getting my hopes up, because my sister has disappointed us in the past. I don't want Mom to get hurt and go through all of this again.