tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13965109767504589392024-03-13T10:43:49.721-04:00Just The Addict's SisterAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08544595264752137536noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1396510976750458939.post-85590678976004420152013-01-30T23:30:00.000-05:002013-01-30T23:42:20.152-05:00Busy & Sick<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I can't believe it has been over 2 weeks since my last blog post. The first month of the new year has been a busy one, especially this past week. Grandma sold her Florida home, everything she owned was packed into a Uhaul, and we began the cleaning, painting, and unpacking. This was the most we have spent together as a family in a long time. Which was good and bad. Plus, the last few days I have been very sick. I believe I am just getting over bronchitis. So, I'm heading to bed and will catch up on reading and writing blogs soon.</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08544595264752137536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1396510976750458939.post-43030118481565667462013-01-13T23:00:00.000-05:002013-01-13T23:01:17.123-05:00Does it ever get any better? <span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My grandma says bad things always come in threes.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Right before Thanksgiving Grandma was diagnosed with breast cancer. At the beginning of December my sister was admitted to the hospital with a blood infection from shooting up with a dirty needle. About 2 weeks ago Mom's cousin, after serving 20+ years in the army, passed away from a heart attack. Than, this past Wednesday our neighbors, both husband & wife, were killed in a car accident. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">That is 4!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Not that I would ever wish bad things on anyone, but I think we have had our turn and it is someone elses'. Enough is enough! </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I was really hoping 2013 would be a better year.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>UPDATE:</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My sister has made it through her first week living with our uncle and aunt. Things seem to be going well, according to them. There was only one thing that concerned us. My uncle left some money for my sister to put minutes on her phone and pay for her prescription. We found out that my cousin, who drove her, actually used her credit card to pay for everything, so what happened to the cash? Besides that things are good. My uncle and aunt had my sister's car towed and fixed. Now she is trying to figure out how to pay for it, renewing her license, and getting some insurance. Oh and a little thing called a job. I know it takes baby steps, but we aren't seeing much effort from her yet. I'm just glad the weekend is over. </span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08544595264752137536noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1396510976750458939.post-6840439357498578102013-01-07T21:30:00.000-05:002013-01-08T21:26:57.769-05:00The Weekend Update<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I was planning on blogging Sunday evening, but Mom and I got home a little later than we thought, so after preparing a few things for work I just ended up eating a late dinner and heading to bed.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">This weekend was exhausting, physically and emotionally. It was definitely a roller coaster. There were some ups and downs- more downs than ups, but that was expected. Things are not going to change over night. This was the first time we've all been together for an entire weekend in a long time and with my sister clean an even longer time- actually this was probably the first weekend my sister has stayed clean in a while. The first weekend she has not been with her "friends", too (well besides being in the hospital).</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">There were a few things I thought were suspicious...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana;">My sister had tons of laundry, (a result of living out of her car) which Mom </span><span style="font-family: Verdana;">volunteered to wash/dry/fold all of it over the weekend. I noticed before giving Mom anything she would frantically go through all her pockets.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana;">One of my sister's friends text Mom's phone. She said she really needed to get a hold of her, because she had a fever, cold chills, aches, etc.. She was afraid she had the same blood infection. I don't think my sister put her up to this or had some plan, but it was suspicious that my she had to leave the house, out of our ears reach, to call her.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana;">My sister has said she was not going to have any contact with her friends, because most of them were still using/dealing. However, her last week in the hospital she had a friend at the hospital taking a shower. Over the weekend she was texting/calling a friend, and she made the comment that there were 2 specific friends that she was not going to give up their friendship, but she just needed a small break.</span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I don't know, maybe none of this meant anything. However, in the past suspicious behavior from my sister meant something was up. Why frantically go through all of your pockets if you aren't hiding anything? Why stand outside in the freezing cold and snow to talk on the phone if you aren't hiding anything? Why be friends with people who are continuing to use when you are trying to change?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Friday evening our dad came over to talk. He did most of the talking, Mom and I kept quiet and listened, and my sister occasionally smarted off when she heard something she didn't like. He discussed detox, rehab, and her plans. She just gave him the same answer she gives us, regarding detox and rehab, that she is not going and is doing this her way. She is going to live with our uncle and aunt from Mom's side. Her car doesn't run, she doesn't have insurance, and her license is expired. She doesn't have a job and her phone is prepaid only meaning she texts whenever she finds $5. So, she really doesn't have a plan in place. She is starting therapy this week, another uncle offered to pay for. It is only 1 day a week, I'm not sure that is going to be enough. Mom, Dad, and I still don't think her moving in with our uncle and aunt is a good idea or convinced this will change anything, but only time will tell.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Sunday evening we took my sister over to our uncle and aunts. They typed up a "contract", rules for her to follow, and all of them signed it. They are going to help her with getting her car fixed, finding a job, making sure she gets to her therapy sessions, job interviews, etc.. They were very clear that if she screws this chance up, she will be asked to leave, and there will not be a second chance. This is her second chance, but really it is her third and forth.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I am so glad that the weekend is over. Only time will tell what the future brings. I really do want this to work for her, but I am not getting my hopes up, because my sister has disappointed us in the past. I don't want Mom to get hurt and go through all of this again.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08544595264752137536noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1396510976750458939.post-52838348491015248162013-01-04T17:00:00.000-05:002013-01-04T17:22:52.517-05:00The Unknown<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My emotions and nerves are all over the place. Today is the day. The day my sister is being discharged from the hospital and returns home. She is coming home just for the weekend. Mom told her that she would have to find a different place to stay, since she was not opened to recovery and getting help. I'm not sure when she is going to be here.. could be with in the next hour or even a couple more hours. Either way I'm not excited or looking forward to this.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I am nervous, because I am not sure what is going to happen. I am fearing the unknown. For the past few years none of us have had a relationship, due to her addiction. There is more yelling, screaming, and arguing than actual talking or family time. So, I am just not sure what to expect. This weekend could go well.. us spending time as a family, talking a little, and creating a plan to help her. However, and more likely, things will be no different.. yelling, screaming, arguing or just plain silence. I guess only time will tell.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I have mixed emotions. I want my sister to get help. I want to have a relationship with my sister. I want to see her treat Mom better. So, yes I feel bad having Mom kick her out and Dad not letting her come back to his home. However, as I have said so many times, she is an adult and she makes her own choices. If she chooses to do drugs than she has to live with the consequences that comes with that. Also, I don't want to live in fear of having my stuff stolen or being hurt by my sister, emotionally and physically. I don't want to see her hurt our mother, watch and hear Mom cry night after night. We have to do what is best for us- be happy and grateful for what we do have and not allow ourselves to be wrapped up in her chaotic life and what is best for her- let her make her own choices, live the life she wants, and live with the consequences. Than just be there for her when she is ready to accept help from us and others.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I'm not sure what else to say. I am hoping for the best, but trying to prepare for the worst. I am nervously waiting for her to come home and anxiously waiting for the weekend to be over.</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08544595264752137536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1396510976750458939.post-17760963264135582792013-01-02T21:30:00.000-05:002013-01-04T12:07:49.063-05:00Hope is gone<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In less than 24 hours the hope we had last night is now gone. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Mom and I were so excited about The Brighton Center. It was and we still think is the perfect place for her. She could get so much help there and not just regarding her addiction. She could go back to school, get a job, and learn so many skills. Plus, her biggest fear of "becoming a prisoner" wouldn't be an issue, since The Brighton Center's program allows the girls to earn time to leave to work or spend time with family. But I guess it doesn't matter now. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Mom called my sister at the hospital earlier today. She started to tell her about The Brighton Center and, per Mom, my sister snaps "I'm not going there, so just drop it!" So, Mom dropped it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This evening Mom and I went to the hospital to visit my sister. We have been going every night to visit her and a few hours each weekend. Mom brought the rehab subject up again and, I heard it this time, my sister snaps "I already told you this on the phone today- I'm not going! So, just get it out of your fuckin mind and drop it!" I jumped in, one because I don't like listening to her talk to Mom that way, and because I wanted to let her know how wonderful this place sounds. That she doesn't have to worry about being a prisoner, because she can leave to visit family, friends, and eventually to work. I didn't get to say much, because my sister loves to interrupt and be in control of the conversation. She told us that she has been there before (uh, when?) and she knows people that have gone there and she is not going there. The rehab conversation pretty much ended with her same old answer we just don't understand, no one does, and she is doing this her way. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Since her mind was made up and she wasn't interested in hearing anything else about the program there wasn't much left to be said. I simply told her that she is an adult and it is her choice to go or not, but she doesn't have to be nasty to us when we are just trying to help. Mom and I are the only ones that visit her everyday. There is a clear difference between how she treats other people and us. Well, that set her off again. Most is a blur, because her words are so hurtful. Enough was enough and I left the room in tears.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08544595264752137536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1396510976750458939.post-81955240591295781762013-01-01T23:30:00.000-05:002013-01-04T10:26:04.038-05:00Hopeful<span style="font-family: Verdana;">It is going on midnight here and I just finished speaking with a woman from The Brighton Center.. which is a recovery facility for women only. After we hung up I woke Mom to share the information. We are both feeling very hopeful and are excited to speak with my sister tomorrow about this opportunity.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">One fear my sister has about rehab is that she will become a prisoner and lose all her freedom. My opinion is too much freedom is what got her in this mess and a little structure may be good for her, but what do I know. My opinion doesn't really matter. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">The Brighton Center's program is set up in different stages. The residents earn privileges with each stage completed. The first is of course the most strict, the girls live in a dorm type environment, and may not leave the premises. As they progress through the stages they can earn a more private room and free time to leave during the week and over the weekends, as long as, returned by curfew and all other requirements of the program are met. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">The Brighton Center will also assist the girls with furthering their education, getting a job, learning to budget, pay rent, cook, clean, and teach all the skills needed to eventually live independently. There is a weekly Al-Anon meeting for families and educational trainings for the families who want to learn more about addiction.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">The woman I spoke with went through the program herself and said it feels like everyone is just a big family, understanding what everyone is going through, and supports one another. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">The best part- The Brighton Center is located very close to our home and is state funded, so not a cent would be needed.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I think this is the perfect place for my sister and can't wait to tell her all about the program, but it is ultimately her choice. </span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08544595264752137536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1396510976750458939.post-57158663602190716352012-12-31T22:30:00.000-05:002013-01-03T12:50:56.949-05:00It Is Not Fair!!! Part 2<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm doing an update to my last post. I have stopped crying and calmed down and now feel like I should explain what happened instead of just complaining, and screaming IT IS NOT FAIR!!!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span> <br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">As I mentioned, my sister is currently in the hospital for contracting a blood infection from using a dirty needle to shoot up heroin. She is being discharged this Friday, January 4th. The plan for the past 2 weeks has been that after she was discharged from the hospital she would be admitted to a detox/rehab center about 45 minutes away from home- yes she agreed to this. However, we just found out that she doesn't qualify for the free program. Why? Because she is not suicidal! Since she doesn't have insurance, $3,000 is needed.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">The new plan is for her to return home and attend counseling twice a week. Our uncle, from our dad's side of the family, has offered to pay for the sessions. He is a cardiologist, very intelligent, but him (and his wife) don't think my sister needs to attend a detox or rehab center, which Mom and I disagree with. I'm not a professional in this area. Everything I know I have learned from going through this experience with my sister, speaking with others who are or have gone through similar situations, and tons of research. Mom and I believe an inpatient program would be best for her and than counseling. I may be wrong, but I believe they are wrong.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">The unfair part comes from her returning home. If you have never lived with an addict you would not understand. The chaos of their life becomes your life. I truly want her to get help, but that is her choice, and if she chooses not to seek help that doesn't mean I should have to live her life of chaos. When she was living at home- Several items of mine, including jewelry, money, and pain medication, was stolen. I eventually had to keep everything I owned in my bedroom with the door locked. Even when the door was locked she found a way to get inside. Mom and I both worked, but almost every night she would wake us up at 2:00, 3:00, 4:00, 5:00, 6:00am. My sister never saw the need to contribute, but she sure did eat all of our food, take showers, sleep all day be gone all night, and make messes through out the house. At times she would even become violent.. throwing a cell phone at Mom's face, spitting in mine, hitting, pushing, punching, and once threatening with a knife. Other times, her words hurt just as much. I don't want to live like this again, feeling like I'm always walking on eggshells. I just don't think it is fair. This is the life she has chosen let her live it, but it is not the life I chose, so why should I live like this?</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08544595264752137536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1396510976750458939.post-29968920518271959712012-12-31T13:00:00.000-05:002013-01-03T12:50:39.335-05:00It's Not Fair!!!<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I'm sitting here writing this in tears. My sister is being discharged from the hospital Friday and is returning home. This wasn't the original plan, but it's the new one, and I don't think it's fair! I don't want her home if she is not going to get help- I'm sorry if that sounds harsh. I don't think it is fair to Mom and I. My sister is an adult, she made her own choices, and now she should have to live with the consequences. She doesn't want help, so why should our lives be turned upside down, just because she wants to get high! It is not fair! It is not fair that we (Mom & I) should have to live like prisoners in our home. I don't want to feel uncomfortable every time I leave knowing she is home alone and wondering what she is doing. I don't want to lock all my stuff up in my room, so she can't steal it and sell it. I don't want to lock all my medication up, because she may take it and overdoes. I don't want to feel like I am walking on eggshells, always saying and doing the wrong things. I don't want to (and shouldn't have to!) be scared that my sister is going to yell, scream, spit, or use a knife on me. I don't want to be woken up at 3,4,5,6:00am, because she has been out all night. I don't want to listen to Mom cry all night long, see her worry and stress over everything that it makes her sick. I don't want to watch my sister yell, scream at Mom and treat her like shit. It is not fair!!!! And I don't think we should have to live like that again. I understand that it is not my house. Mom is going to do what she wants to do. Which is another thing that bothers me. I feel like I have no control over what is happening to my life. I'm crying and I'm freaking out. I have even contemplated leaving.. just packing up my stuff and leaving. Right now, I would rather sleep in my car, than have to live with my sister and go through all that hell again!</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08544595264752137536noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1396510976750458939.post-23898782942732880802012-12-28T23:30:00.000-05:002013-01-03T12:50:17.385-05:00Stability VS Instability<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This morning Mom and I had the opportunity to look through my sister's car. Of course, we found some items most would be surprised finding in their loved ones belongings. We found a cutting board, lots of cards (like reward cards), a packet of pills, a few small plastic bags with white residue, and tons of clothes. Mom found a few things of hers and I found my gold necklace and a watch she must of stolen. I was angry at first, but than I started thinking.. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">My life is far from perfect. Mom and I are struggling like many families in this country today. Mom works full-time an hour away and right now I only work part-time. We have more bills going out than money coming in. However, I am so grateful that Mom allows me to live in her home. We both have beds to sleep in at night, clean clothes to wear each day, cars to drive, and jobs to be at. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I feel comforted that there is stability in my life. Yes, at times it may seem boring, the same humdrum day after day, but as i see it, it is better than the alternative... instability, chaos, drama.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">For the past few years, my sister's life has been unstable.. and that is an understatement. She would probably say it was all Mom's fault, because she kicked her out, and Mom would buy into it. This is not true. Her life was unstable long before she was asked to leave.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">When my sister did live at home her daily schedule was sleeping all day, only waking to shower and eat, than disappear all night. The rule was- be home by 10:00pm or the door would be locked. I guess my sister didn't think the rule applied to her, because she would constantly show up at 2-3-4-5-6:00am. Sometimes she would call and call Mom's phone. Other times she would bang and bang on the front door. One time she even knocked on Mom's bedroom window almost giving her a heart attack. My sister would do whatever was needed to be granted access inside the home. Her cell phone was consistently ringing. Her "friends" were always sitting outside. Neighbor's would complain about all the screaming and fighting between her and her boyfriend during the wee hours of the night, or morning. A few times when Mom would leave for work in the morning she would find my sister sleeping outside our front door or her and her boyfriend sleeping in one of their cars. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">My sister ended up moving in with our father and his wife. This didn't last long. Obviously, my sister and her current lifestyle were not cut out for living with others. I don't know exactly what happened, but through their complaints it was the same as here.. she always came in late, slept all day, wasn't working or looking for a job, left her mess all over the house, was disrespectful, and ended in a huge argument between my sister, father, and her boyfriend in the drive way outside their home. She was than asked to pack her stuff (alone with out the boyfriend) and leave.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">My sister bounced from friend's house to friend's house, because she was not welcomed in her boyfriend's parents' home.. surprise, surprise. Occasionally, she would spend the night here. Eventually, she started babysitting under the table, because she was receiving unemployment and she stayed in the family's home for a while. That did not last long either. She sent one of the children to school in his pajamas, didn't change the baby's diaper all day (lucky the mom came home early), the oldest daughter complained of her sleeping all day, always being outside smoking and talking on the phone, and using her stuff. The days my sister stayed with friends she would not show or be late. Her and the boyfriend even stayed in a hotel for a while until their money ran out- well that was her story.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">My sister's boyfriend was actually caught stealing, charges were pressed, and he was sent to jail.. by his parents. Of course, he was drug tested and was sentenced a year in rehab. So, my sister was back on the streets alone. She again was bouncing from friend's house to friend's house, sometimes even sleeping in her car. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">We last heard she was staying with a friend, who was also a user. They were living in the friend's mom's ex-husband's home- who was an addict in recovery.. this sounds like the perfect place, right?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Currently, my sister's residence is the hospital. She was admitted December 8th and is to be discharged January 4th. She contracted a blood infection caused by a dirty needle used to shoot up heroin. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">How do addicts live like that? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">My boring, humdrum, stability looks so much better than instability.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08544595264752137536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1396510976750458939.post-61648007121383127722012-12-27T00:30:00.000-05:002013-01-03T12:44:22.596-05:00Summer 2008<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It was the summer of 2008. Our grandparents had been living in Florida during this time. Grandpa had emphysema, lung cancer, and had been blind those last few years. Around April/May he became very sick and on July 13th passed away. Most of the family (aunts, uncles, cousins) traveled to Florida for a small memorial service.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">The day before the service everyone was busy. Grandma is a clean freak! We have an on going joke.. her house is so clean you could eat off Grandma's floors. So, because there was no way Grandma was going to let anyone in her home being dirty, some were cleaning. Some were cooking. Some were preparing personal writings to read at the memorial service. Everyone, except my sister.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">My sister had been so worried about what she was going to wear at the memorial service, she insisted on having a new pair of black pants. Of course, she wanted Mom's credit card to go shopping. Mom told her just to go shopping, pick something out, put it on hold, and she would go back later to pay for it. An hour later.. Mom's phone rang.. her daughter was picked up for shoplifting. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Grandma, who just lost her husband a few days before, paid the bond.. $500! Than Mom, her sisters / my two aunts, and myself sat outside a Florida jail waiting for my sister to be released. Finally, after 12 hours passing, watching many others walking out of the jail, my sister is released. She walks out with a pissed off "how dare they" look. The ride back to Grandma's was complete silence.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">That night it was pretty quiet. My sister stuck to herself. I'm sure she was embarrassed, but that is just observation. The next day was Grandpa's memorial service and than back to the house for food and drinks. Some of Grandma and Grandpa's friends were there, so everything from the day before was kept quiet.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Now.. the next day was anything, but quiet.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Mom and I decided to take a walk around the community and just get away from the stress for a little while. My sister was not allowed to leave the state, due to she had to appear in court the following week for her shoplifting charges. When we returned one of my aunts came charging at us. (She is a lawyer, must be in control, fix everything kind of person.) She was pointing at me saying "We talked it over and decided you will stay with her, take her to court, and than bring her home! Your Mom can ride back with one of us." </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Um.. Ok.. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5.. that wasn't working. I lost it! </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">(I should have controlled myself better. Looking back I do regret that, but not that I stood up for myself. I usually just do what I'm told.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I am an adult and deserve to be treated and spoken to like one. She could have ASKED me to stay instead of TELLING me I HAD to stay. Plus, didn't they think Mom, my sister, and I could figure things out on our own? No, I guess not, we needed everyone to be in control and fix everything for us.. that is how our family works. Mom had to return to work and I was starting a nursing class, so I'm sorry that my sister chose to shoplift, now she can live with the consequences. My sister had shoplift! The day before Grandpa's memorial service! I think everyone forgot that, because everyone was yelling at me for "not being supportive", "not being there for my sister", and so on. Oh, and also, for lying about my nursing class, which I had not. But what were they telling her "We all make mistakes", "We all do stupid things when we are young".</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">The confrontation between my aunt and I turned into a HUGE family fight, causing us (Mom, my sister, and I) to get in our car and drive 12 hours back home. Before we left I heard my Grandma in her bedroom crying. I felt my heart break, I never heard her cry before. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I ended up driving my sister back down to Florida and going to court with her. She was given community service and had to pay some fees. We had a very short visit with Grandma and than drove another 12 hours back home. -The car ride is another story.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Looking back, I believe this was a missed sign and even though not directly drug related, this is where our journey with my sister's addiction began. No one could predict what the future would bring.</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08544595264752137536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1396510976750458939.post-64540416433404908132012-12-26T21:00:00.000-05:002013-01-03T12:43:02.094-05:00Jealously<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">For the past week I have been reading several blogs regarding addiction. There is one specific blog I have been indulging in.. An Addict In My Son's Bedroom, by Dad and Mom. Tonight I finally finished reading the entire blog, 4 years of writings, but very worth my time. Many things I can relate too, but something I read yesterday seemed to jump out and quite honestly make me jealous. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><span style="color: black;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Alex loves his sisters and their families. He asks about them and if they will be there when we invite him and his family over. When we say no they won't be here there is a sorrowful, "Oh". When we say yes you can hear the excitement in his response, "Good".</span></span><br />
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Even though I have never met this family and they don't even know I exist, I feel like I know them. I have read the entire blog, from beginning to end, each entry, each failure, and success. So, I am happy for them. Happy that their son, Alex, is clean and moving forward. Happy for the parents, sisters, and the rest of their family. However, a part of me, okay a huge part of me is jealous.</span><br />
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My younger sister is an addict. She was active in her addiction until a few weeks ago when she was admitted to the hospital, but more about that later. The point of this post is that I'm jealous of the relationship Alex now has with his sisters. I wish my sister and I could have, well, any kind of relationship. We are in the stage of hate and anger. She hates me and I am so angry with her.</span><br />
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I have tried to visit my sister in the hospital, but I am only welcomed with dirty looks, being ignored, and any responses I do get are just nasty and hurtful words. The first night, after returning from the hospital, Mom received a text message from my sister "Come back tomorrow alone or don't come at all!"</span><br />
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My sister has opened up to almost everyone. I have heard her speak of two people she wishes she was close with again and misses the relationship and closeness they once had. Neither of these people were me. I am her older sister. I am her ONLY BLOOD SISTER. I feel like we have missed so much, because of her addiction. I'm not sure what I have done wrong to piss her off. If anyone should be upset it should be me and I am.</span><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Maybe one day we will have a normal sister relationship. </span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08544595264752137536noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1396510976750458939.post-61278303586656552642012-12-25T22:00:00.000-05:002013-01-03T12:41:51.491-05:00Merry Christmas & Introduction<span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Merry Christmas Everyone!!!</span><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This is my first post, so I thought an introduction was appropriate.</span><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My name is Amy, I'm 27 years old, and currently I teach Pre-Kindergarten. My parents have been divorced for over 20 years and I was primarily raised by a single mother and a set of grandparents. I have two younger sisters, 25 & 23 years old. My only full-blooded sister (who I feel more comfortable leaving nameless at this time) is 25 years old and is an addict. Her current drug of choice is heroin.</span><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My role in my sister's addiction is different from so many others. I'm not the parent or child of an addict or even the spouse of an addict. I'm just the sister of one. However, that doesn't mean her addiction doesn't affect my life. My mother, sister, and I have all lived together before her using and during her using.. my life was (and is) definitely impacted by my sister's choices and drug use.</span><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I realize Christmas isn't the ideal day to be thinking and blogging about this, but addiction doesn't take holidays off. Plus, there is no time like the present. Thanks for listening. </span><span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Merry Christmas!</span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08544595264752137536noreply@blogger.com0